I wasn't going to write anything here, I was going to keep my grieving more private. But on Monday night, I know that reading what Agostino wrote helped me and so many others so much. And last night, seeing the little Shure user guide drawings he'd modeled after himself made me smile. This morning's been so much harder for me again, I'm missing Michael so much and I've sat here today for hours now reading through years of emails from him and wanting nothing more than to feel the way I used to feel just one week ago. I've been greatful for every story and rememberance that his family and dear friends have told me about and shown to me in these past few days. I can imagine that some people would be happy to see the pictures he'd recently put up on Friendster, so here is a link. A couple of them are older pictures, but most of them were taken this summer. The last picture, he just took a couple of weeks ago to document 'the homecoming scene I'm in love with now.' The first and seventh and eighth were from when he was at my house for lunch one day last month.
I don't think I was feeling better yesterday and Monday night because of denial, I think it was because I was starting to get a glimpse of a life when it will be somehow ok that Michael died now instead of when he was an old, old man. I know so many people aren't anywhere near that place, and this morning I'm farther from it than I was last night, but I want to get to that. I want all of us to get to that.
To have been able to be with all of the Dahlquists and Hoffmans and Tim and Vickie and Andy and Cole and so many more of the people who Michael loved, that's a big part of what's kept me alive through the last several days. I feel indescribably fortunate to have been loved by your Michael. I wish there was anything I could give to you to help take away your hurting the way that you've been helping me with mine. I love you all, Rene